People like to ask me to describe my experience in the Peace Corps, but for us volunteers we can’t really put our service into just one sentence or word because that was two years of our life. If we actually described our service to you sufficiently it would probably take hours, but I would most likely lose you after the first five minutes because you were expecting a few sentences or a couple words. However, don’t worry because I came up with the one sentence that can describe at least most of what my time in the Peace Corps was like and that is: Living an uncomfortable life comfortably.
I started the Peace Corps in Thailand without knowing the language, culture, or geography, but I definitely knew the food. However, now two years later I can tell you that each region is not defined by one “Thai” culture, but that there are many small communities of people with many fascinating cultures and languages (since each region has its own dialect) that live harmoniously in this beautiful part of the world. I am one week away from closing out my service here in Thailand and I can definitely say that I love this country and will happily call this my second home, but it took a lot of challenges and moments of feeling uncomfortable to get here. I had lived a life of comfort for the 22 years that I lived in America with some challenges along the way, but nothing like the Peace Corps. The first week I met the people I would be working with for the next two years of my life and the family that I would look to for guidance in this community I knew nothing about. I was told to get into a car with complete strangers, said bye to my friends that I made in just two and a half months, and pretended to sleep in the six hour car ride to my community (talk about awkward). Jump to two years later and I can finally say that I made it to the end of my service, somehow. Many community members and children would call to me, “Farang!” (“foreigner” in Thai), and I would respond with “Pom Chuu Cyrus” (“My name is Cyrus”) with them only to yell out “Farang!” the next day. Every day in my community I felt like I was in a Zoo where in fact I was the animal attraction and everyone else were spectators into my life because anywhere I went I would get empty stares. I spent many days sweating through shirts and biking miles to get anywhere because my bike was my only transportation. I made Life Skills lesson plans for my classes every week to then be told I have to help teach the English lesson to the students and then have the teacher leave me alone to go have the day to herself doing god knows what. I forced myself to eat meals that I would never eat for the sake of integration. I planned and executed projects sometimes on my own that were supposed to be a team effort, but my counterpart was always too busy with other projects to be able to help me. Sometimes I was put on the spot to give speeches to people all in Thai with nothing prepared. I usually had to be the energetic, fun, and friendly teacher to give my students the motivation to join the class for hours throughout the day because by the first hour of school the students were checked out. I would also have to be a serious and not-so-fun teacher when I had to have serious conversations with students who were disrupting class, if there were cases of bullying, or when students were threatening each other with broken glass (true story) because the only form of punishment the other teachers knew was the use of a stick or yelling. Days were long, but I enjoyed it for the most part not because I enjoyed being uncomfortable. It was because I found my solace. Comfort in a state of being uncomfortable was not easy to find and it took time and many moments of wanting to give up. I found comfort in taking time for myself and nights alone at my house where I can be alone with my thoughts, cook for myself, listen to my music, watch Netflix for hours, and in comfortable clothes. I did not actually enjoy being alone before coming to Thailand and it was actually something that caused anxiety for myself. However, overtime I had learned to love my own company and taking time for myself. I also loved being able to have time at home to work-out and run in my community because usually it was my time to let my thoughts run free and decompress from the stressors of the day. Fitness has been a source of self-care for me for as long as I can remember and the heat of Thailand was not going to stop me even though I would be dripping sweat after every work-out. I picked up reading again while I have been out here which also helped fill days where I had nothing to do, which was often. It was something that I had to give-up while I was in college because usually school work, my job, and other responsibilities took precedent, but I am so happy I have had the time to lose myself reading. I planned trips to see different parts of Thailand and to meet up with my fellow volunteers because I wanted something to look forward to that was for me. This will also be something that I fully incorporate into my life when I get back to America because why limit yourself and your opportunities because of your work. I found comfort in talking with community members I was close with and my fellow volunteers going through the same struggles as I have gone through. The most interesting thing about the Peace Corps is that if you talked to volunteers in five or ten different countries, you can probably find many similar challenges that they have all gone through. It’s relieving, honestly, to know that you aren’t the only one going through these sometimes ridiculous struggles like falling into the squatty potty, ants or other insects eating or ruining your things in your house, or locals harassing you to date or marry their children. I have a set group of people I go to in my cohort that we go to each other just to vent and feel validated by each other and after I find myself laughing at myself and my own struggles because they helped me realize how wild this life is. You know who you are. I also have community members that are there for me as well and we like to gossip about the people we work with and how much our work would be easier if something or someone would change. It’s comforting to know that I am struggling with the local people because I know then that it’s not because I am a foreigner. Lastly, I found comfort in seeing my kids. Yes, there were definitely days when I needed a break, but for the most part days with them made the struggles worth it. At one of my schools when I got there on my bike dripping in sweat, one student would see me and then run back to the class he came from to let all the other students know I had arrived and you would hear a distant yell of excitement. Any time I would play games with my students, many of the younger students that I did not teach watched in awe and would always beg me to play with them after or to ask if they can join. The time I had at the school with the kids became a time of excitement and something to look forward to for the kids and that was all I ever wanted because I knew they were having fun. The one thing that made me the happiest teacher at the school was when they understood the concept I was teaching or if they took it upon themselves to explain the activity to their friends because it helped me know I was doing something right for the most part. Coming to school sometimes was rough, but they made it better. Finding my solace made my service. If I didn’t, I probably would not have been able to finish my service. Doing things for myself was very important and I cannot wait to bring this newfound approach to life when I come back. For now, I will still ride this wave of discomfort for a couple more days.
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